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In the past year, I've dated two different men that I met on Tinder. Our first date was in a left-wing cooperative bookstore and cafe. When he told me that he never read women writers because he couldn't Olver to them, I should have fled then and there. I didn't and we dated for a few more months but parted ways once we determined we wanted different things from a relationship. The second man I dated was quite different. We matched on Tinder and he immediately asked me to dinner. Our dinner, at a local restaurant specializing in all kinds of meat, lasted four hours. Then we looked for a place to continue the conversation, gave up, and he brought me home, walked me to the door and gave me a goodnight kiss.

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Exceptionally considerate. As if I wouldn't recognise him! I spotted him right away; he was even more handsome than in his photos, and exuded a collegiate air. We had three cocktails apiece and I had little recollection of how we got to my house, only a dim sense of having ridden up and down some Tube escalators. Then all of a sudden I found myself unlocking the door, climbing up the stairs and dropping down on to my bed, with Charles gently pulling off my shoes. A second date followed a similar pattern, ending at his apartment in Marylebone.

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He was so well-constructed that I would defy any red-blooded woman not to drool over the Tinder photo of him in his swimming trunks. Then there was Sam, who for me spelled the endgame. Our introductory e-conversation, late one night, turned quite ugly. He soon began to doubt my identity, demanding to know what I 'really looked like'. Then he became insulting about my age. It had not been designed for the likes of me. He asked: I had finally twigged how the virtual dating system worked. New connections were constantly forming, leaving earlier ones to dissolve.

The hapless were dropped while other options were explored. Everything was built on shifting sand, nothing was solid or reliable or entirely real. The more you wanted to believe in the emotional value of a particular connection, the more likely it was to be merely a mirage. If you couldn't play this pitiless game, you were in the wrong place. I felt my internet-dating exploits edging towards some sort of culmination. I hadn't expected to find love, I hadn't been searching for it, I wasn't even sure I wanted it. But I felt a vague dissatisfaction because something was not right.

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